Well, it seems like the potential of having a meaningful discussion of some topics inside “the community” is approaching zero mighty fast. The knives are drawn, the torches are burning and dammit no one wants to hear anything… and what are you, some ‘kinda criminal yourself?
Let’s recap for those who don’t know the story: (more information)
- Scott W. Tyree is under arrest on a growing number of charges related to his involvement with a 13 year old girl who was apparently found in his residence by police.
- Tyree was a long standing and active member of the BDSM community in his area who was well thought of.
- Alicia was apparently tied to his bed when found – though there is no information suggesting how long she had been bound she was in fact missing from her home for three days and it seems there is information she was with Tyree the whole time.
- It appears that they had a fairly long correspondence, that she willingly participated in the arrangements to meet with Tyree and that she knew the type of ‘relationship’ he intended.
So, where do we go from here? Let me get it over with right now:
- Yes, if the allegations are true he should go to jail.
- No, I don’t think a discussion of what part Alicia may have played in these events means that we are absolving Tyree of responsibility.
It would seem simple. He goes to jail, and she needs someone to tell her that it was a dumb, stupid, dangerous thing to do and that she put herself in great danger. We have no real detailed information, so we have no idea yet how much of her participation was willing; how much she may have instigated and how much she may have been pressured by Tyree. So that’s about all we can say for now.
Except the concepts in the paragraph above are so explosive that the “BDSM community” is in the middle of a huge catfight about it. The specific concept that seems to be causing so much trouble is that the girl might have played any part at all in the events and that those actions may have some bearing on exactly how much of a criminal Tyree is.
It all centers around the cry from portions of the community that as a 13 year old Alicia could not possibly be held responsible for any of her actions, that she is totally incapable of understanding consequences and further that she is utterly incapable of making any form of decision at all because of her age. Sprinkle in the old “miniskirt rape” analogy and you have the makings for some really good absolutist blame tossing there.
Responsibility is NOT a zero sum game. If the allegations are true then Tyree committed a crime and should go to jail for a long time. The possibility that Alicia may have willingly participated in the relationship does NOT render him a blameless. However, it is also true that Alicia’s actions were also a factor in what happened, and that her actions need to be understood as well.
As an example, if Tyree had kidnapped Alicia at gunpoint I would consider that a much more violent action than what apparently happened – that she walked out of her home willingly to meet him and got in his car.
So let’s examine the proposition. Does society hold that a 13 year old is a being who is completely incapable of having any accountability at all for their actions? Are they, in fact, idiots who can be taken to task for nothing?
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A 13 year old murders someone; they may get tried as an adult (many have)
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A 13 year old inappropriately acts with a younger child in a school… they get punished
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A 13 year old (in some states) decides to obtain birth control (and presumably have sex) then they get it with no questions asked
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In some places people are arguing that a 13 year old should be able to get an abortion without parental notification
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A 13 year old draws a cartoon in their notebook of a gun and are charged criminally with the more paranoid laws in the wake of the school shootings of recent years
Yet, somehow if the topic is sex – suddenly they know nothing and can be held responsible. In simple terms our society decided this:
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In our society – A young teen is considered fully capable of understanding murder and the consequences of their actions
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In our society – A young teen is considered completely incapable of understanding what it means to sleep with someone, unless they need condoms or an abortion.
In other words we hold teens about as responsible as we, as a society, feel we need to to get our revenge and make sure someone pays for things we find morally wrong. Unless its inconvenient or embarrassing to stop it.
Ah well. I am sure I will get hate mail for this. People’s brains check out during discussions like these… as soon as you discuss how the victim might bear some responsibility then the mobs starts tossing torches in your direction. in this case, to even bring up the issue is to be branded a predator and a molester in some circles. Even the language is predicated on it. Even though it seems like she got in the car willingly and with previous planning they still refer to the event as an abduction.
Another factor is the fear of course. The BDSM community is terrified that it might be associated with child molestation by this case and it making sure it puts the best face on for the public. If one discusses these issues then one is not only a probably suspicious type but also a danger and a traitor to the BDSM community at large.
One would almost think we are trying buy respectability from the “vanilla” world by showing them that we hate “these guys” more than the vanillas do – so they can see what good people we are. So to hell with intelligent and honest discussion of the issues… smile for the camera and make sure you condemn who we tell you to. And don;t ask questions. Don’t think. Don’t discuss. Traitor!
Speaking of condemnation – it looks like this arrest will spark a new round of black lists in teh BDSM community and it wouldn’t shock me a bit if anyone who doesn’t toe the party line on how to think and speak about these issues winds up on them.
After all – what are black lists for if you can’t use them to silence opinions and thoughts you don’t like?
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